I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
