I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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