Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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