Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
