my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize