Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize