Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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