i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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