I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
