he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
