i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
