I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize