to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
