It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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