then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize