talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
