But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
