I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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