oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
