How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Houston, we have a blender
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize