why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
