Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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