Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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