You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize