that's an acceptable place to lick
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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