im having a threesome with these popsicles
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
ok first of all what the fuck
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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