I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
