Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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