Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize