so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize