I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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