i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
