Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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