apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize