Where did you get a picture of my penis
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
