I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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