I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
