the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
