Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Randomize
