But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
