Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
