What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
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