Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
