Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
