I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Actions speak louder than pants.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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