With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
