I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
