Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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