so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
