her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
All I want is dick and wine.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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