just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
