I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
