ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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