Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
