White coat. Heels.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
