are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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